Weekend Update Part 2 {Online Dating Edition}

Better late than never!

So I was scheduled for two dates this past weekend, one Friday night and another Saturday afternoon.

I had been emailing back and forth with Friday Night Man for a week or so, he seemed nice, he's my age, a graphic designer in the area, and said he had a break from work on Friday night if I was available. I didn't have any plans so I said sure. I asked where he wanted to meet, and he suggested the local mall.

Food court.

Um, hm.

This didn't sit well with me- going on a date to the local mall food court on a Friday night. But being someone who hasn't gone on a date in years, who am I to complain. I agreed.

Saturday Afternoon Man and I had been emailing for about a week, and unfortunately he's not my ideal- nine years older than me and has a child. I know that as time goes on the chances of me meeting someone without children are smaller and smaller, but a girl can hope, right? So I begrudgingly agreed to coffee at 4:00 on Saturday afternoon at a local coffee shop.

Friday came around, and I went to dinner with my Dad (with Mom out of town visiting my sister, my Dad often turns into my dinner date) and then was early getting to the mall. I went to a few stores to check out what they had killing time until 8:00. Of course there were students everywhere. I avoided a good three of them while perusing the stores waiting until 8:00 sharp to head over the food court. At 8:00 sharp I made my way over to the food court.

There was no single gentleman in sight. What the eff?

I looked around for a minute, and then walked into adjacent Macy's to check out the shoes. Then returned to the food court to check again. Nothing. So I walked up to the movies and waited there until 8:05 where I decided one last time to check out the food court.

Nothing.

At this point I've spoken to three students and I've reached my limit. Anxiety is setting in and I'm done. So I leave and when I get to my car send him a message saying that I waited but didn't see him so I was heading home. Punctuality is a must in my book (MFT you're exempt from this) so I was annoyed. When I got home I saw a message from him saying he was at the pizza place, I think it was sent at 8:08. I wrote back and apologized for not waiting longer but that I felt uncomfortable with all the students around. He understood and suggested we try again. I wasn't upset at all that this date didn't happen so I'm not in a rush to reschedule. I have a busy schedule for the next few weeks so I said once I return from visiting my sister we may try again.

Or not. I'm not worried about it.

Date Number Two of the weekend was supposed to take place the next day. I went to Pound class at Mind Body Barre in the morning, and decided that I was going to take a trip to a nicer mall about a half an hour away, later that afternoon. When I got out of class my Dad had called, and was planning on picking up my brother who goes to college near the mall, and taking him to the mall as well as to a late lunch. Free meal and a trip to the mall not on my gas? Done and done. So I texted Saturday Afternoon Man around 11:00 and told him that I was going to have to cancel our coffee date, and I apologized for the inconvenience. I felt bad, but at the same time, wasn't super psyched about this date to begin with, so I didn't feel heartbroken. A dear friend reminded me of a very fitting MBB mantra which freed me from further guilt about canceling, "Work smarter, not harder." I took that to apply because of his a.) Age b.) Having a child c.) Having a borderline mullet in a few of his profile pics, that I really shouldn't be working this hard to date just anyone. Keep my standards up, and that's what I'm doing from here on out.

By mid-week this week I was even considering canceling my month subscription to the dating site early. I didn't get around to it yesterday, and when I got home from watching XFactor with my Mom, I saw I had an email from someone on the website. I checked it out, and was pleasantly surprised. He's seemingly attractive, my age, also in education, local, and used proper grammar and spelling in his email. I allowed myself to get a little excited and replied about a half hour later.

Truth be told though, I'm a little apprehensive as he seems too good to be true based on prior experience with the website, but I'm reserving final judgement for the time being. On this front I shall obviously keep you posted on any updates!

Weekend Recap Part 1

So. Hurricane Sandy has cancelled school today and tomorrow and I figured at the least I could update my blog while I lounge at my parent's house for the next day or two.

First. I did a little bit of shopping this weekend. I knew J.Crew was having a sale on their sale items- an extra 30% off sale items. There were some things I had my eye on online, but knew I needed to try on before purchasing at final sale. Plus, since seeing a post about these jeans on Sequins and Stripes {I thought, can't seem to find the post right now to refer to, although it should be noted, I love her style and coordinated outfits very much}, I've been wanting to try them on since I'm in need of a good pair of skinny jeans.

So. First stop was Nordstrom. I tried on the Paige Skyline Straight Leg jeans and fell in love.

Purchased.

Next up was J.Crew. I scoured their sale section, which was pretty full considering it was the end of the 30% off promotion. Because I used my educator discount, I ended up getting an additional 15% off my purchases. I bought two tops and a pair of white bootcut jeans for spring/summer.

Top #1: Blythe blouse for $35. I've been wanting one of these for a few seasons, but never seemed to want to spend the money on one. I couldn't beat the price with the 30% off promo.

Top #2: Nicky top for around $25 {cheaper in the store than online.} Great top for layering in fall/winter/spring at school, and wear alone during summer. I bought a bright red, almost with an orange undertone, which isn't pictured online. 

And last but not least, a pair of white denim pants for, drumroll please, $15!!! Score.

And to top off a successful shopping trip was a stop at the new Pinkberry in the mall for a delicious frozen treat. 

Sunday I tried on the Paige jeans again and questioned the color choice I made. I also was itching to head to Anthropologie which is about 10 minutes past the mall to check out a skirt and a cute jewelry holder. So I headed back to the mall, stopping at Anthro first. 

Sadly the tulle skirt was no where to be seen, and only available online in black. {Separate post about my quest to make my own version of this skirt for the holiday season forthcoming.} And for some reason when I found the wishbone display it was not what I was expecting. I was thinking it was going to be a bigger size item, but was really small, about the size of an apple. So no-go on either of those fronts. 

Of course I didn't leave empty handed!

Anthro was running it's own promo- an extra 25% off all sale clothing items. Unfortunately nothing I purchased I can find on their website for a picture. But I left with two tops, a really pretty bralette, and a dress. Three of those items were on sale, one was not. But I made the purchase anyway.

Item #1 was a sheer floral print short sleeve shirt, that is on the longer side. I picture it with my new skinny jeans and tan heels. Item #2 was a bright floral print sheer bralette that I don't know that I'll actually wear out of the house, but is something that my future new boyfriend may appreciate and it was super cheap so I got that as well. Last item on sale was a pretty navy and tan dress that cinches at the waist, and has a little bit of a mullet cut to the bottom hem. All of those items, with the additional percent off totaled around $50. This brings us to item #4. Eek. So it's a purchase that may end up being returned, but I could not leave it at the store. It's a chambray pullover shirt, that buttons down midway. Cuffed sleeves that roll up and button to stay in place. And has small white polka dots all over the shirt. And is super soft. But was $88. Yikes. I fell in love, but may end up returning because of the cost. We shall see. 

I also tried on a pair of skinny cordoroy pants that I've seen on Anthro's website many times in denim and colored denim, and have been curious how they fit me. Good news is they fit well, so when I see them on sale in the future I can feel confident in making a purchase. 

I then headed back to the mall to check out other colors of the Paige jeans I found. I ended up buying them in black too. 

Mighty successful shopping weekend for moi!! Not so successful on the dating front...that update is next.

Stay safe party people! Will update the dating front shortly...

Oh no...

J.Crew is offering an extra 30% off all sale items, ending Sunday, October 28th. {Thanks to J.Crew Aficionada for the heads up!}

I may need to make some purchases...if I can finagle it financially.

I guess that Fall Wish List- J.Crew sale edition is coming sooner than I thought!

Stay tuned...

Fall Wish List part one

We're fully into the Fall season. I'm avoiding a pile of grading as I type {one of the few aspects of my job I do not enjoy} and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 is on in the background {poor Dobby, always makes me tear up.} I've made it through two piles of homework assignments and have decided to take a break and catalogue the items that are making it to my wish list this season.

My first edition of the wish list is comprised of items from J.Crew.

Item #1 has been on my wish list for a while, and I hope to actually make it my own at some point this fall.

The Schoolboy Blazer in Navy. $198

Two years ago I bought a black blazer from The Limited in an attempt to fill the void in my closet that is reserved for this blazer. It's been alright, but I think it's time to make the actual purchase. Go big or go home.

Next up is the Lustre Lace Mock Neck Tee. Also in Navy. $138

I am in need of shirts to wear with jeans now that I feel comfortable to wear a more fitted shirt without a cardigan. This fits the bill perfectly. My only wish is that it came in other colors besides navy and a light mauve-y pink. I have a navy long sleeve tee from The Loft so I'd like to get this in another color but don't love the pink it comes in. This is a purchase that I'd make if the price is right at sale time.

Time for some sequins. And polka dots. I love this top. I love the champagne color. Another purchase if the sale price is right. The Polka-Dot Sequin Top. $128 in champagne. 

I do love this in the black with cream polka-dots, but I already have a black long sleeve sequin top from J.Crew that I bought last year, so champagne it is!

Plaid. Plaid is a must this season and I have yet to make a purchase. This may be the shirt. The Perfect Shirt in Black Watch. $88. 

But another good option this season is gingham. Enter the Perfect Shirt in Gingham Flannel. $78. Either would be a good staple to add to my closet.

Both shirts are great for layering this fall and winter. 

Ok, this sweater has been on my list almost as long as the Schoolboy Blazer. I have a craft project that it is perfect for, and I have everything I need except the sweater. 

Here is what I want to create:

{~}

And the only thing I need to complete the project is the Tippi Sweater. $79.50

I'm torn between the Heather Sandstone and Heather Gray. In either case, I would love this for the winter.

These I would like to see in person. My greatest fear is see through leggings. {I am well aware leggings aren't pants, but even with a long shirt, you still want to know your unmentionables aren't visible!} J.Crew Signature Leggings, $39.50.

I've heard to check out Forever21 for leggings. Any other suggestions? I'd rather not pay an arm and a leg for essentially tights. We'll see how this search goes. 

And last but not least, more pants for work. I haven't tried these on yet, so I'm not sure how the fit would look on me, but I'm thinking the Matchstick Cords might work for me. $89.50. Tough part is figuring out which color. I'm thinking navy or manor purple. 

I think that's a pretty healthy list, no? I'd like to do another list based off the sale section of the website. Also items from other stores I've been coveting. 

Ok, back to my grading! Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, and hope you have a great week!

Wowzers.

So, I've talked about the Wellness Challenge I've been participating in at Mind Body Barre, and how much my life has improved since beginning it this past summer. I even mentioned in my last post that I've lost 17 pounds and a good amount of inches. Well, talking about these changes motivated me to check out the photos again that Ando took on Day 1, Day 30, and Day 60 of the first challenge.

Holy mother. It's true what they say, you never really noticed how big you were until you've lost some weight and look at pictures. Yikes. And at this point I'm halfway through Challenge #2, and just took may Day 30 pictures last week, so I'll have another follow up to this post in November with even more results.

Well here goes....Here is my Day 1 picture from July 1st, 2012 {gulp}:

And here's my {much better} picture from Day 60 on August 30th, 2012:

When I got the email from MBB about the 8 Weeks to Wellness Challenge I knew it was for me, and it was the impetus I needed to make huge changes in my life. I am beyond thrilled with the results both physically and mentally/spiritually. It is far more than I ever thought I'd accomplish. 

PS: I already miss the tan I got this summer spending my days at Gram's pool....sigh....

Spaghetti Squash Success!

So since this summer I've been working on eating healthier, and watching the number of calories I've been taking in each day. Through my Mind Body Barre program which I began the first cycle of on July 1st, I've learned healthier eating habits, and ways to balance the foods I love with food that is good for me. Since July 1st I've lost 17 pounds and a good number of inches. I feel amazing. Both physically and mentally. It's the best I've felt in a long, long time.

So I tried a new recipe last night, well not entirely new. I attempted once before but it was a complete and utter fail. I had heard a ton about spaghetti squash and using it as a substitute for pasta so I gave it a try last spring. I read about using a crock pot to cook the squash so I followed the instructions and when I returned from work (a little later than I had hoped) and sadly found a mushy mess in my pot. I couldn't even cleanly take it out of the crock pot, it fell apart and fell everywhere. Ugh. So needless to say I gave that idea pretty quickly.

Fast forward to grocery shopping this weekend and I thought, ok, I've done really well eating right, and am going to give this a go again. This time in the oven, not a crock pot. So I went to the section of the produce aisle that had squash, and went to grab the spaghetti squash. When I read the little sticker on the squash I realized that it wasn't a spaghetti squash. I had grabbed a butternut squash the last time, and attempted to cook that in my crock pot all. day. long. No wonder it didn't work!!! I literally cracked up in the middle of Shaw's and immediately texted my cousin to explain to her my hilarious mistake. I took the right squash and was on my way.

Last night I cooked the squash- successfully I might add- and used this recipe from Skinny Taste for roasted broccoli. I also cooked chicken breast to add as well. I'm not the world's greatest cook so I was thrilled that this came out good! I took a picture before I ate the whole thing and headed off to barre class. Yum!

Someone winked at me!

I just had an alert notification on my phone- someone winked at me on match, exciting!

I open the ap to see who this mystery man is. {It should be noted here that my age is listed at 30, and that I am seeking a man between the ages of 28 to 35. I feel like that's reasonable, no?}

Turns out my mystery man is a 41 year old man one state over from my home state. The information he provided about himself reads:

"Do you 'Love Chocolate' ??? Cause I melt in your mouth, not In your hands ! :):):) Would you like come candy ladies ???"

Thank you for your inquiry with typos and emoticons, but no, thank you.

Eight Years, You Say?

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I've been single for almost eight years. Fun times around here, that's for sure.

Brief recap to how I got to this point...

Dating History:

• 1 Serious Relationship, ended by him much to my chagrin (2000-2005)
• 2 Semi-Serious Relationships
• #1, ended by me (about two months in 2007)
• #2, ended by him (about two months in 2008)
• Sprinkling of unsuccessful dates (spanning from 2008 to about 2010)

*It should be noted that throughout my early and mid twenties I had quite a time going out on the town and making questionable morale decisions. {Attempting to tactfully disclose a slightly promiscuous stage} It was a blast. But I'm not longer behaving like a floozie in her heyday. Moving on. 

So, Serious Relationship was initiated by him and both Semi-Serious Relationships were set up by mutual family friends. Unsuccessful dates were a mix of random set ups and online dating. 

For the past two years or so, there has been a major drought in the field of dating. I tried a few different online dating sites-both paid and free sites- at different times throughout my twenties and didn't enjoy the experience any of those times. But I know people who have had success with online dating sites- some even now married, so I do know it works. Couple the dislike for online dating with my distaste for going out until the wee hours of the morning with the new crop of partying twenty-somethings where I don't seem to meet people anyway, and I have not been on one date in two years.

Two years.

Mostly I'm fine with that, going on the assumption that somehow I will meet the person I'm supposed to be with and more importantly deserve to be with, that it just hasn't happened yet. I'm right where I'm supposed to be. 

But then there are those times where I really think about the reality of the situation: I am 30 years old and have no dating prospects to speak of. People have stopped offering to set me up on blind dates, I don't work with a large population of dateable men, I occasionally go out but don't seem to meet people when doing so, so.......how am I going to meet the person I'm supposed to be with? Enter panic. 

And apparently online dating.

I feel a sense of pressure that I should be online dating. I understand where people are coming from when they ask me if I'm online dating or encourage me to do so. What I have a hard time with is that I have used various online dating websites unsuccessfully, I've paid for a service that has not yielded any results. Yet people continue to prod me into going back online to date.

I've decided that I will try a popular online dating website one. last. time. I will pay $30 for one month of access to online profiles of people who supposedly are also looking for a relationship and see where it takes me. I'd rather buy a pair of black leggings to pair with my new Hunter rain boots with that money, but I am giving it one last shot. If it works out and I meet some great people, awesome. And if it doesn't, I am officially done with online dating, and I can say with complete conviction that I gave it my all, and will move on. 

Watch out Match.com, here I come!

Stay tuned for updates on my experience. I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat already...

Where am I?

Hello! Here's a little bit about me before we jump into this blogging thing....

I turned 30 this year, and was/am in a pretty great place- I have a career I love {teaching history at a local high school}, a home I adore {where decorating is ever-evolving}, the best family and friends anyone could ask for, and a cute-as-a-button {most of the time} Chihuahua. Things are kind of awesome.

Of course there is a minor detail missing which nags at me usually in the deep recesses of my mind, occasionally rearing its ugly head full on, but for the most part, I function unaffected by this missing piece. You see, I've been single for a long time. A very long time. A long enough time to bring me back to my days as a sixteen year old, longing for her first kiss and boyfriend while watching Dawson's Creek and daydreaming about what life would be like with my very own Pacey Whitter. {I suggest if you plan on sticking around here for a while you may want to familiarize yourself with my ideal significant other. Enjoy.} I have been without a significant other, minus a few dates/small relationships, for almost eight years. Yikes. Let's go back to the beginning...

Right after graduating high school the day finally came where I found myself not only experiencing my first kiss {sigh, finally!}, but I was all of a sudden in a relationship with someone which rivaled those I'd seen on the WB! That summer after graduating high school I finally experienced all that a first relationship should be: kisses in the rain, lying to parents and subsequently being grounded {yes, after I had graduated high school}, falling asleep and missing curfew, dinner dates and shopping trips, and the ultimate teenage experience: a tear-filled goodbye as I left for college almost two hours away {oh, the travesty!}

But we managed to keep our relationship going while I was away, and he remained in our home town. I came home every single weekend except one during my freshman year of college. I even transferred to be closer to home (and also to avoid $20k in student loans when I graduated, which turned out to be a good decision) my sophomore year. Our relationship continued, and even led to discussions of marriage and children after college. This was our plan! Junior and senior year I lived in an apartment and commuted to school. Technically he didn't live with me, but he did. We went ring shopping {the sparkly kind}, talked about where we would get married, and even looked for houses. I graduated and landed my first teaching job for the following school year. Things were falling into place!

Until they came crashing down the following February. Very long story short, I discovered my world was crashing down on me, that the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with had chosen differently {in the form of dating another girl behind my back.} Enter emotional breakdown, loss of 20 pounds, and serious bout with depression.

My savior throughout that time was my job. My students made me laugh every single day, and kept me sane. I eventually survived that horrid break up and went on to have a kind of crazy and most definitely fun, rest of my twenties. After the break up I connected with one of my cousin's who would go on to become my forever Partner-in-Crime and we went out on the town like there was no tomorrow! She would sleep at my apartment, and we had the time of our lives! Ohmygosh, so many crazy nights, and so much fun.

I'd say after First Boyfriend, I dated maybe two guys semi-seriously. Both guys I was set up with, and they went well. The first I dated for a few weeks before he left the area for work for two months. We kept in touch, but when he came home I wasn't really into him anymore. Then maybe a year later or so I was set up with another guy by my Aunt, and he and I clicked right away. In hindsight I probably moved too quickly into that relationship, or at least quicker than he was ready for, and he ended that one after a few months. This brought me to my mid-twenties where I was still going out a lot, this time with two close friends from high school, but wasn't meeting any people worthy of dating. I think I got into a bit of a funk with going out, drinking, and making poor decisions.

Things got a little muddled around maybe 26 and 27, and I made some decisions that I'd like forget but they make me who I am today, so live and learn I guess! Dating had ceased to exist for me albeit for a few memorable but not in a good way dates (a set-up, a few online dating dates) and I was starting to move away from the going out lifestyle.

During that time one majorly awesome thing happened- I bought my house! I am in love with it. I was so ready to leave the apartment I had shared with FB and have a brand new, fresh space for myself. My house was built in the early 20th century, which as a history teacher I obviously love, and I am slightly obsessed with the process of decorating it. More on that with subsequent posts I'm sure.

I switched schools also around the time I bought my house, teaching at the high school that I graduated from, well they built a new one, but same town I grew up in. I love it. I miss my old colleagues and my old school a lot, but onwards and upwards!

And so now, at 30, I'm refocusing my journey back on me, as most of the pieces of my life have fallen into place. At the end of last school year I found out about a place called Mind Body Barre. I was a member at a local gym, loved going to classes, but sadly the instructors I enjoyed weren't on the schedule much any more and I found myself driving 15 minutes to use an elliptical machine. Eh, no thanks. So I started taking more and more classes at MBB and actually enjoying working out. Starting July 1st of this year I began participating in their Wellness Program which involves logging food intake and working out at the studio 4-5 times a week. On the spiritual/personal front, there are workshops, Reiki, spiritual readings and one on one consultations with the owner. It is without a doubt one of the best things I've ever participated in.

Slowly throughout my twenties I gained back the weight I lost post-breakup and then some. After three months in the MBB Wellness Program I finally feel comfortable in my body again, and mentally I feel the best I have in as long as I can remember.

One aspect of the MBB mantra is the saying, "You are right where you're supposed to be in this life." I am using that as the platform of this blog, to remind myself that I'm supposed to be right here, and help focus the decisions I make from here on out.

Thanks for reading through all that {if you did!} and welcome! Please comment or email me with feedback.